New "Patent Pending" Chess Ring Tone

While browsing thru the 2009/8 issue of NEW IN CHESS I came across a picture with the following caption: "The shortest game but one of the event. Alexander Delchev has played 1.d4, but before his opponent Stuart Conquest had time to reply, the Bulgarian's mobile phone rang, whereupon the game was declared lost for him."

My brain works "outside the cage" and this was no exception; in short order it conceived the following idea. Instead of using a pop song for a ring tone; simply record your own voice saying; "Considering the even position on the board and the onset of what may be the highly contagious N1H1 Virus, I hereby propose a draw." Pregnant wife in delivery or dying grandparent messages could also be used. This gives you time to mute your phone and avoid a forfeit! Of course you could just turn off your cell phone.

Later in the same issue there is a picture of Karpov conducting a simul while talking on his cell phone! Rude to say the least.

Oh, the "but one" game mentioned in the caption was a forfeit awarded because a Czech GM was a "few seconds" late and was not present when the arbiter started his clock.

And no, I don't think Darren placed any calls to Britain's opponents during the Novi Sad team competition.